Image sourced from Google
I'm going to be writing about something slightly different today. I'm a blogger who loves to read life posts, basically I'm nosey, but I feel you really get to know a bit more behind the author of the blog. Unfortunately I don't personally feel like I write enough of these considering I'm someone who loves to read them. So today is the day that I may change that (no promises though). I think the reason I sometimes don't often write these kind of posts is mainly due to me not doing very many exciting things very often, simple. And when those more exciting days do come around sometimes I tend to just tweet and instagram about them other than writing a full blog post. But anyway here goes with my new adventure I'm about to go on.
Basically since finishing my A levels back in 2011 I knew I wasn't ready for university. Most of my friends were and that instantly outnumbered me. A fact about me is that I am utterly terrible at making decisions, honestly I am the worst person for it. So when it did come to making that big university decision I wasn't ready and I didn't want to rush any decision which I thought I would most probably later regret. So after watching most of my friends toddle off to uni I got myself a job in fashion retail which is very much like marmite, a love/hate relationship. Some of the time I absolutely love my job and I think the people I work with make it ten times better and without them I really don't think I'd enjoy it half as much. But I honestly get those days, like most people, where I feel fed up, that I need to get out and generally just upset. I know that's absolutely normal and I bet pretty much everyone has had at least one of those days in their working life.
A couple of months back I started some voluntary work which has honestly been one of the best decisions I've ever made. I'm doing it at a local private nursery, currently for only one day a week, and oh my gosh I absolutely love it. I know some people won't understand this but I'll say it anyway, I just cannot see how looking after children, playing all day and literally just having fun is any kind of job. I honestly look forward to a Tuesday every week, every week is different and it's a very hands on job which I love. The lovely people who I work with at the nursery have helped me every step of the way and that's where my new adventure starts.
I was on a college website, recommended by one of the girls at the nursery, when I saw a clearing advertisement for a local university. I thought there's no harm in looking so that's what I did. There and then I ended up applying over the phone and the lady on the other end was very helpful and polite, also wishing me the very best. At this point I was very excited. Within a couple of days I'd received a phone call asking me for an interview and the day after the interview I received the best news... I had got into university. So why wasn't I happy? I didn't feel all of the emotions I knew I should of. Another fact about me is that I'm really not very keen on change so the fact that all of this was happening very quickly was in fact scaring me. I started doubting my decision to go to uni and thought all would be best if I just stay in my comfortable environment at work where I knew everyone and exactly what I was doing. When I found out that I had got in, I didn't tell anyone and kept it to myself, which I now see as probably the worst thing I could have done. The first person I told was my boyfriend, hours after I found out, I ended up telling him everything and he instantly thought of comforting words to reassure me. The next day was when I told my mum and the same thing happened, this was when I started to get my head around the fact that this was the right time and thing for me to be doing.
One thing that's been really getting me down is the fact that I may have to leave my current job. Like I've said I'm working in fashion retail and the people I work with are absolutely lovely. Over the past two years I've definitely made some friends for life and the thought of leaving that behind also scares me. Going out into the 'unknown' from something so comfortable is daunting but also something that needs to be completed. I've learned an awful lot from working there but due to things changing it seemed the right time to begin with, when my doubts kicked in I wasn't so sure. There may still be a chance that I do not have to leave but when it comes to it I think I'll be emotional. It's all happening to fast so seems to be taking a while to digest hence my confusion but fingers crossed this changes.
I have an induction for university next week and am slowly growing on the fact that I will be a student again, no matter how much it freaks me out a little bit inside. I hope that once I'm settled ad am starting to study again that I really will turn around and think 'why on earth didn't I do this sooner'. Basically the aim of this post was 1. to finally do another life post as I've said but 2. to get my thoughts and feelings out of my head to distract myself and 3. to help any of you guys who may have gone through the same feelings and thoughts as myself. I will hopefully include more life posts throughout my blog from now on if it's something you enjoy as it really helps me.
I hope you enjoyed reading this post and would love to hear your stories if you've had any similar before. Now I need to go stationary shopping, something I haven't done in years so am actually rather excited ;) But for now it's dinner time and I'm starving...